Belonging – such an important word – and for many of us, such an elusive state.
All of us, we want to feel that this is our place – that here we belong.
And yet most of us go through phases where we just don’t seem to be able to reach that state: it’s like we can’t seem to feel connected, as if our feet don’t really touch the ground.
Very often, these phases – or states – end up buried beneath the hustle and bustle of daily life.
So many demands on our attention, so many things to take care of: ‘I don’t feel like I belong here, but I’m too busy to deal with it.’
I know how it feels.
I also went through an episode where I just didn’t know where I belonged
Maybe it has to do with my history: When I came to Australia in 1990, I was young and adventurous – and I had fallen in love. We got married, and for 13 years I felt more at home than I ever had in my entire life.
But when that marriage ended, it was like the rug was pulled out from under my feet, as if a massive landslide has just taken away all foothold.
It was a difficult phase, especially considering the stark contrast with 13 years of having firm roots.
These days it’s different: Over time I learned that belonging has an inner meaning, a reality that’s independent of where I happen to be.
There are many people like you and me: we grow up in one place but at some point in our life we move into a different area, or city, or even a completely different country – and in doing so, we seem to lose our place.
And all around me I see the consequences: People just can’t seem to attain that sense of:
“I’m alright here, this feels good”
I think part of the problem is that it is so easy to move to another place these days. Pure adventurism can take us anywhere on this planet – a plane ticket is all you need.
Or we do it for economic reasons – better paid work in another country, or our employer tells us to ‘up and move’ if we want to keep our job.
It might also be for political reasons – the worst reason we can imagine. Some folk have to flee just to stay alive.
Whatever the reason: When we move, we often end up feeling empty
In such a state we often fall prey to the media and the marketing industry, so busy foisting products and experiences on us.
We’re being told that this new product or that new movie will fix things, fulfil us – but nothing you can purchase is a substitute for your own inner sense of being at home and at ease.
It’s not about belonging to a place: what matters is belonging to yourself
You can control your destiny wherever you are. You are not powerless, you’re more than a petal in the wind.
And taking control of your destiny starts with accepting who you are, no matter where you are.
Once you realise that state, when you can make the shift from longing for a place where you’re not; to the deep notion that belonging is a state independent of location, you suddenly feel completely different.
You too can live with the deep-felt notion that this planet was made for you, and you for this planet
That yes, you belong here: at home in – and with – yourself
When that happens, it becomes so much easier to have a home, or to feel at home: you’ll be able to stand solidly on the ground, no matter where you are.
That way your life gets easier, your moods lighter, your work will be more fun and you’ll develop deeper, stronger relationships with the people in your life.
Of course you might still long for your original country, or your hometown, or have the urge to find that perfect place you can call home on this planet
The difference is that you’ll no longer feel the pain that goes with the wish to be there instead of here.
You’ll be able to let go of the feeling that if only you were there, you’d feel better.
You will have come home to self
This is why I created the ‘Belonging – Longing to Be’ program, where I use constellations and my OCEAN method to help you find your footing and feel at home in this world, no matter where you are.
This world where ultimately you do belong.
Because you were meant to be here
And in that contentment, of knowing that where you are truly is your place, your life transforms.
Let me help you discover your place, with my ‘Belonging – Longing to Be’ program.
Get in touch, let me know where you struggle.
Fill out the contact form below and I’ll be in touch as soon as possible.